Why Am I Such a Misfit?

The other night, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was on television and we decided to let Abby watch it.  Now, if you happen to see my Twitter feed from that night (or you can glance to your left), you would have seen that I had some interesting commentary about the show. 

It’s not like it’s been forever since I watched it.  In fact, I watched it last year, probably with Abby asleep on my lap or something.  However, for some reason, now that Abby is older and actually pays more attention to television (she can recognize so much more now), maybe I look at the show differently.

For instance, poor Rudolph.  From the moment he is born, he is shunned by his father and then by Santa Claus.  Santa’s a real jerk and Donner (Rudolph’s dad) does Rudolph a disservice by simply ignoring the problem and suggesting it will go away over time.  Donner also figures out a way to keep Rudolph’s nose a secret for an entire year by making him wear a prosthetic nose in order to keep the “glowing nose” hidden away – just like the mean father he is.

That’s just the beginning.  When Rudolph is “playing the reindeer games” (something tells me those could be worse than The Hunger Games), his nose falls off, exposing his fluorescent note to his friends.  Not only are his so-called friends mortified by the revelation, but Santa becomes an even bigger jerk by putting Donner down for hiding Rudolph’s nose (as if Donner had a way to fix it).  Here’s where we get the lyric “they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games”.

Because of this symbolic bullying that Rudolph endures, he chooses to run away, figuring that his life will be better off if he doesn’t have to live up to other people’s standards.  Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Anything like the countless preteens and teenagers that have been taking their own lives because they have been bullied recently?  I’m getting off-topic, though.  This is about Rudolph.

Along his journey, Rudolph makes new friends, Hermey and Yukon Corelius.  Together they have an adventure and escape the Abominable Snowman and make their way to the Island of Misfit Toys.  As I sat watching the show the other night, I wondered why the doll had been left on the Island, so I looked it up on IMDB.  It turns out that the doll is depressed that no one loves her and therefore is considered a misfit.  What?  A doll with serious depression?  I know, based on the Toy Story movies, that toys have feelings, but wow.  Severe depression.  Wonder if she should see a doctor about that?

Back to the show.

Rudolph and his friends aren’t allowed to stay on the island but are given shelter for the night.  Rudolph wants to run away so the Abominable Snowman doesn’t find them.  He runs away again (I’m seeing some sort of pattern) and heads off into the wild.  Now there is no sense of time here, but we know that it’s at least several months because Rudolph grows up.  He also realizes that it’s time for him to go home and face his problems, like any normal reindeer.

Here’s something else that was a little strange with this show.  When Rudolph comes home, he finds out from Jerk Santa (who doesn’t seem to be a jerk anymore – maybe he grew up a little, too?), that his father and mother and the doe that he liked, were all gone, apparently out looking for him.  Hasn’t Rudolph been gone several months?  Wouldn’t they have stopped trying and headed home after a couple of days?  So what does Rudolph do?  He simply figures out that they must be at the Abominable Snowman’s cave.  How does he know that?  They could be dead for all he knew.  He shouldn’t just assume they are alive.

And that’s the best part.  When he arrives at the Snowman’s cave, it’s as if the Snowman has moments before captured his parents and girlfriend.  What?  How did that happen?  They were gone for several months and the second that Rudolph is in the general vicinity, not only do Rudolph’s mom and girlfriend find Donner, but all three of them mange to get found by the Snowman.  Uh huh.  Rudolph tries to defend his family and his girlfriend and gets bonked on the head with a rock (something that would have killed an ordinary reindeer, but perhaps his magic nose gave him super strength).

Just when all hope seems lost, Yukon Cornelius and Hermey save the day (and everyone else).  Hermey removes the Snowman's teeth and Yukon falls over the cliff with him.  Hooray (read: sarcastically).  Everyone comes home safe and then all of a sudden there's a storm that knocks over everything.  Santa is prepared to cancel Christmas (how would he do that, by the way?  Call a press conference?  Send an email?  Tweet?  Santagram?), but suddenly realizes that the poor sap of a child of Donner's and his freak nose might actually be useful for something.  Who knew?

So there's a happy ending after all (no massage necessary) and even the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys manage to find a place to live thanks to Santa.  So why am I so cynical about this show?  I'm definitely willing to suspend reality for the sixty minutes.  I think it's just that I look at it from a parent's point of view and wonder exactly how long Abby will believe the magic that is Christmas.  

"I believe, Spirit!"  -  wait, wrong movie.

To all of you who have already watched Rudolph and will now be wondering about everything, sorry.  For those who haven't, sorry for exposing the real world to you.

Until next time.

PS......you all know this is just in fun, right?